This past week at home allowed me to really take time to rest and take in everything happening around me without the pressures and distractions of work and school. It dawned on me earlier this week that this is the first time in a really long time that I finally feel like I can breathe and not have to worry about things like trying to find a job or complete an assignment for school. I explain everything in this week’s How Wow Pow Chow.
How has God worked on your life this week?
After everything that has happened this past school year, from the pressures of academic deadlines to the stress that came with trying to find another job to pay for school, all of these things came to a halt recently, and I found myself finally able to exhale. Over the past year, I’ve tirelessly begged God for just enough strength to get through each day and that He would just show me the light at the end of this seemingly never ending tunnel. Looking back now, some of the things that I was so worried about before seem like extremely outrageous things to be preoccupied with, but at the time, the agony was so real and so heavy.
As I stand on the other side, I realize that all of the things I went through over the past year happened so I can get myself into the place of putting all of my faith in the Lord and trusting that He will get me through these things. God has been so good to me, and I’m confident now that I can get through anything, so long as I keep Him by my side. Now that I’ve made it through and most of the conflicts from the past year have been resolved, I want so bad to plant my feet firmly on the ground after months of being on my toes – but I can’t let myself do that.
The next challenge that I feel God putting on my heart is to stay motivated. Far too often, when we get things our way, we have a habit of forgetting about all of the things that brought us through to the other side, whether that’s friends, family, or faith. Although I am enjoying myself this week at home, being able to rest and not have to think about too much, I’m also not letting myself become complacent, both in my search for my purpose and in my faith in the Lord. Last year was all about testing my strength. This year will be all about maintaining momentum.
What is something great that happened this week?
Here’s a little backstory for those who aren’t in constant contact with me for a lot of the year. At around April of this year, after realizing I’d need to be in school for another year, I soon found out that I also would no longer be eligible for financial aid. The possibility of there being a cap to the amount of student loans that can be taken out completely slipped past my mind, and thus I began the search for a second job to pay for my last year of school.
I tirelessly searched for both full-time and part-time positions, looking for anything that I could grapple onto for at least a year so that I can graduate from Cal Poly next June. I was willing to do absolutely anything (within reason), applying for things far and wide, ranging from full-time assistant positions to sporadic stipend-based gigs. On top of this, I reached an agreement with my parents that if I can’t find a job by December, I’d have to pack up, move back to Sacramento, and figure out my next steps from there. After I reached the end of my rope, I got myself into the mindset of transferring to Sac State, changing my major, and figured I would just figure out my life thereafter.
After months of searching, I not only found a job that would help me pay for school, but would also be in an industry I want to go into, doing things I enjoy and have passion for. Just like in the story of Jairus and his dying daughter in the Book of Luke, I was expecting a quick solution, but what I got was the beginning of a resurrection.
What is something that happened this week that wasn’t so great?
Part of the reason why I came home this week was to get my wisdom teeth removed. I was more concerned about the nonsensical things that would come out of my mouth right after surgery, that I completely forgot about the actual recovery process. Yesterday was rough, bleeding endlessly out of my mouth, having no appetite, and fighting painkiller-induced fatigue (FYI – I didn’t know that you can just take Ibuprofen to help with the pain, and that the strong stuff they give you is for emergencies only). I legitimately thought that one (or both) of two things would happen: 1. All of my teeth would fall out or 2. I was going to die (my mind quickly goes to dark places when I can’t do much of anything). Luckily, I’m doing much better today – my mouth is no longer bleeding, I want to eat all the things, and I’m no longer (accidentally) taking hard narcotics.
Any interesting/note-worthy food you’ve eaten this week?
One thing that I was looking forward to after getting my wisdom teeth removed was all the mushy foods I’d get to eat. Right after my procedure, my first request was Jamba Juice. Upon coming back home, I immediately knocked out from residual anesthetic effects, and I woke up to mashed potatoes, chocolate pudding, and popsicles. Although I was in too much pain from the procedure just a few hours earlier, there was no hiding the giddiness upon seeing all of the delicious treats waiting for me to indulge in.