Blogmas Day 9: How I Introvert

If you frequent this blog every now and again, the fact that I am introverted is not new information (in fact, I’ve written a post detailing everything that goes on inside my head when I’m put in a social situation). I realized that I never wrote a post about things that I indulge in to feed my inner introvert, even though I’ve been meaning to for quite some time now. Hopefully some of these things resonate with my fellow introverts, or introvert-adjacent folk, out there.

1. I like going to the movies by myself

I’m not sure if I’ve ever really admitted to this on this blog, so if not, now you all know. I sincerely enjoy going to the movies by myself, especially if I had an intensely hectic week (or couple of weeks, like I’ve had lately). This is my way of unwinding and decompressing –  by seeing a movie that I’ve been meaning to see. I try not to do this too often, since movie going nowadays burns a significant hole in my wallet. Whenever I do make the time to do this, there are certain criteria that I check off to make the experience as satisfying as possible. For one thing, I only see movies that I absolutely really want to see, most of which are movies that no one ever really wants to go out of their way seeing. I like the more avant garde, artsy, independent films, or films that are Golden Globe or Oscar nominees. As much as I enjoy crude comedies and Marvel pictures, I wouldn’t waste a Friday night seeing those by myself – those are more fun to see with other people, in my opinion. When I do watch a movie I’ve been wanting to see, it’s nice not having the distraction of friends and peers to deter my attention from what’s going on onscreen. Also, and I’m sure my mom is going to kill me when she reads this, but I always get a snack whenever I go to the movies. It’s usually nothing too crazy – I usually buy a box of candy and an Icee, although even those two alone will cost a good $10. For me, getting snacks contributes to the movie going experience. Finally, I usually go several miles out of town when I do this (the furthest I’ve driven was probably in Riverside County, which is a good 30-45 minute drive from where I am). Although I’m not directly interacting with people at the movies, I’m still in a social environment, and so those longish drives by myself give me some more much needed alone time. Also, I usually go at night, but that’s mostly because I have other stuff going on during the day that I need to get done.

2. Coffee shops, coffee shops, coffee shops

At this point, I’m pretty sure it’s been aptly established that I am a fan of going to coffee shops by myself. In fact, I usually go to coffee shops to blog, and so chances are that any blog post of mine that you read was written in a coffee shop (with the exception of this one). Even if it’s a Starbucks (which is usually my Plan Z if I’ve exhausted all other options), I relish in the time where I can enjoy a drink, (maybe) a pastry, and blog or settle in with a book. Again, I’m usually down to drive however many miles out of town just to check out a new coffee shop that I’ve been meaning to try, or one that’s been recommended to me (all of which are usually in LA or Orange County, which are both pretty significant drives for me). For some of my own favorite coffee shops, click here, or ask me. I’ll give you a substantial list.

3. Make up reasons not to go to things

I’m not particularly proud of this one, nor do I really ever enjoy saying no to things, but if I absolutely cannot bring myself to be submerged in a social outing, I usually try and find an excuse not to go. For example, there were consecutive Cru events the past two (or so) weekends. This entire quarter, I think I’ve done a pretty good job at trying to attend every single event – all of which were on weekends – but eventually I realized I didn’t have a free weekend since before the school year started. Given that it’s the end of the quarter, I didn’t want to end it even more exhausted than I already was. Last weekend, I went to the annual Cru Christmas party (which I wasn’t even planning on going to, but somehow got roped into going anyway), and there was another party last night. Last night, I already had a work function to go to and told myself I was just going to veg out afterwards. I almost caved and went to the second party after my work function, but I already had my fill of social interaction for the day and decided not to go to the Cru party. My reason: “I’m just really tired.” Now this wasn’t exactly a lie, since I really was exhausted both from that day and just the entire quarter in general, but I wasn’t tired enough to not go to a nearby Starbucks and blog and go see a movie right afterwards by myself (see how far down the introverted rabbit hole I fall?). But on other occasions, I have had to come up with reasons not to go to things because “I’m tired of being around people” usually isn’t a good enough excuse. So if you’re someone who I’ve had to pass on plans with and you’re currently reading this, now you know the true reason why I couldn’t go to whatever it was that you invited me to. I just really wanted to spend some time alone to recharge.

4. Isolate myself at social gatherings

Now when I’m not making up reasons not to go to parties or social gatherings and I actually decide to go, depending on how big the crowd is, I usually disappear somewhere to recharge (if I can’t do that, I usually glue my eyes to my phone – I’m not being rude or antisocial, I’m just recharging). My go-to is excusing myself to the bathroom (although most of the time that I excuse myself to the bathroom is because I legitimately need to use the bathroom. The alone time is a plus, which is why I stay in there for as long as I can without it being awkward). Another good alternative for me is to find a place to talk to someone one-on-one. Having a one-on-one conversation with someone provides me the same satisfaction of isolating myself, while making it look like I’m still being social. Having a conversation with just one other person doesn’t drain me nearly as much a group conversations.

5. Lock myself in my bedroom for hours on end

On my days off and weekends, I usually follow this routine: wake up, check my phone, make coffee, shower, then lock myself in my room for hours. While I’m in my room, I usually watch copious amounts of YouTube videos, catch up on shows, or blindly scroll through Netflix and my social media. I usually plan on doing productive human things like laundry, cleaning my room, etc. but exactly zero of those things end up happening (but this is probably more in part due to the fact that I’m just lazy). Occasionally, I’ll go out somewhere (like a coffee shop – ha HA), just so I don’t go completely insane – also all of that screen time results in a raging headache. On some particularly lazy days, I just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling with my headphones in, and go through Scripture. But other than that, relishing in doing absolutely nothing is what I feel like I’m best at.

Hopefully some of this gave you a little bit more insight into the mind of this introvert, and I hope fellow introverts related to some of this stuff. Also, if you got offended by the “making up reasons not to go to things” part, I apologize, but sincerely hope you still invite me to stuff because I like being invited to things.

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