I’ve been putting off writing this blog post, partly because these past few weeks have been super hectic for me (what else is new), but mostly because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to write about for this milestone. When I logged onto WordPress a couple weeks ago, I had every intention to write my usual quarter-end reflection, until I realized that this would be my 100th post. I asked for suggestions from a few friends, and while I was given really good suggestions, none of them seemed apt enough to write for the big 1-0-0. Thus, I let this draft sit for a few weeks while more ideas simmered in the back burner of my mind. I’ve decided to save the ideas people gave me for future blog posts, and instead make this one a retrospective, despite having already written plenty of those in the past. In case you don’t make it past this paragraph and decide that you’ve read enough of my mushy word vomit (wow interesting word selection there, Walt), I would just like to say thank you for reading my posts, whether you’ve only read one of my blog posts or all 100. You really don’t have to spend 5 minutes of your day reading what I have to say, but the fact that you do truly means a lot to me.
When I decided to start this blog, I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. I knew that I was sick of mindlessly reblogging posts on Tumblr, that I wanted to write seriously again, and that I wanted to document my last days as an undergrad in some capacity. I’ve had multiple tried and failed attempts at creating somewhat of a constant and regular presence on here – anyone remember my Music Monday posts? – but ultimately stopped trying to force myself into a regular weekly posting schedule. There were moments where I truly felt discouraged from the low viewer counts every time I did post and wondered if it was worth taking the time to write every so often and sharing my thoughts on the internet. But I’ve stepped back from both of those things because ultimately I realized that being in those mindsets meant that I was probably blogging for the wrong reasons.
Yes, it’s pretty surreal to know that people from countries all around the world have somehow stumbled upon my blog. I’ve somehow caught the attention of ~important~ people, and even fell into a comment thread on Reddit (that has since been deleted, but whatevs). It’s wildly bizarre to me that there are some people who have started their own blogs as a result of reading mine (hey, Christian). It’s humbling when people not only go out of their way to read and like my posts on Facebook, but also go even further out of their way to tell me in person that they read and liked my post. But with all that being said, my M.O. was never to bring any kind of attention to myself. I don’t write and post for the views or for the satisfaction of being told that I’m a good writer. I started this all for myself. I’m writing for no one else but myself. My last post where I revisited and reacted to my old Tumblr posts is a pretty true testament to that, and to the fact that I truly hope I can look back at these posts in a couple of years and cringe at how much I thought people would care about what I have to say. But nonetheless, I am incredibly grateful to those who take the time out of their day to read what I post.
Looking back at the two and a half years I’ve been on WordPress, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that I was in such a different place when I started than where I am now. My circle of friends has changed, and I’d like to think that because of that, my entire approach and attitude to going about life has changed. It’s fun to go back and reread some of my old posts just to see where I was at a certain point in time and be reminded of things that were going on at that time. Yes, there were very low moments in my life, and although I never explicitly detailed everything that went on in my personal life, memories of what I’ve gone through come back when I revisit certain posts. One of the main reasons why I’m so grateful that I had the foresight to write about my life and start this blog is that I can look back at those things and smile and say, “I got through that.”
I don’t know what will happen in another two and a half years, or if I’ll even see blog post number 200. But I do know that I’ve at least discovered a platform where I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts, and I’ve found a posting schedule that I’m comfortable with. It’s always been difficult for me to process things in my own mind, and this blog has helped tremendously with that, and I hope that whatever I went through or whatever I had to say over the past two and a half years helped someone else as well.
Please know that I am eternally humbled and grateful for every view, like, and comment that I receive in my posts. And if you are someone who has decided to throw caution to the wind and document your thoughts on the internet, I commend you because it’s not easy to overcome the barriers of “will people really care about this” and “do I really want to share this part of me online.” Also please know that I am more than willing to read what you have to say, assuming I don’t do that already.
Again, thank you for reading. Thank you for 100 posts, and here’s to (hopefully) 100 more.