A couple of years ago when I was in college, a friend of mine and I were catching up over drinks after I got off work. After a few topics of conversation went by, we eventually found ourselves on the topic of friendship. “Who else in Cru are you close to?” he asked. And as I went through the names of people I normally hang around with, I noticed that not very many of them belonged to the men of Cru. A few weeks ago, I went on a day trip to Santa Barbara with a small handful of some close (male) friends, and realized a stark contrast in the makeup of my friend group compared to what it was just a few years earlier. Recently, I’ve been feeling pretty introspective about the past couple of years of my life, more specifically about how the dynamics of my friend groups have changed over the years. Reflecting on my current and past friendships, I’ve begun to make sense of how I’ve approached certain relationships and why I thrived a little more easily in ones more than others.
It’s been about six months since I’ve finished school, and I’ve done the usual things one is expected to accomplish post-grad: I got a full time job, I’m paying off bills quicker, and I’m taking reasonable steps towards future career goals while still basking in the freedom from homework, exams, and day to day interaction with other jaded students. There have also been transitions that I’ve been undergoing that I wasn’t at all anticipating, mostly having to do with my relationships with the people who are (and were) in my life. When you’re in school, despite how cynical you may have become due to the curve balls life throws at you, you still maintain somewhat of a rose-colored glasses perspective, especially with your friendships. There comes a point in college where you realize you’re basically an adult, which translates to thinking that the other young adults in your life have to remain there forever. For some, this may be true, but the reality is that just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean that you’re done growing. As people grow up, sometimes people grow at different times, in different directions, and ultimately apart.
Hello, it’s me.